You've Cast A Spell Over MeNope, Just A Hex
by XenaDragon-xoxo
Summary: Draco Malfoy is a very important person with a very important job. He's got a tight schedule to keep, but he's always willing to spare a few minutes to hex Harry Potter.
1. Chapter 1

This fic was written for the H/D Book Fair of last year. My book was _Basic Hexes For The Busy And Vexed. _The chapters are all very short but I will update as often as I can.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Preface:** _Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed is a book about hexes aimed at wizards who don't have the time or the patience to learn more elaborate spells._

Draco Malfoy was extremely proud of himself. Not only had he managed to scale the corporate ladder at the Ministry in just eight years due to his excessive talents in his department and his multi-lingual eloquence, he had also managed to find a way around his extremely busy schedule to pursue his favourite hobby: hexing Harry Potter.

As head of the British and Irish Quidditch League Headquarters in the Department of Magical Games and Sports, twenty-six-year-old Draco didn't have a lot of spare time on his hands. Even before being elected as the youngest head of his department in a century, he'd spent too much time doing Very Official Business with the best Quidditch teams in the country and sucking up to his boss to really have enough time to do what he loved doing best. It wasn't easy, seeing as the object of his entertainment was equally busy and about one step away from promotion to the Head of the Auror Office. Draco would have been more than willing to bet his bottom dollar that by this time next year, Potter would have already filled the prestigious position, especially since Gawain Robards was planning to retire. It was about time, too – the old man looked just about ready to dissolve into nothing but wrinkles at any second.

Draco had spent copious amounts of his free time over the past few years hexing Potter. Whether it was by simply casting a spell over his shoulder to make the stack of files Potter was carrying tumble to the floor in a mess or finding a way to stall the lift he was in, Draco had conceived all sorts of elaborate plans to drive Potter crazy. It was difficult being in the same place as Potter due to the fact that their offices were five floors apart, but Draco usually managed to find an excuse to take a trip down to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement on the second floor. Unfortunately, coming up with all these ingenious ideas took up majority of Draco's time and it had been a fair while since he'd paid Potter a visit.

But who cared, really? All that mattered now was the fact that Draco had finally, _finally_ received that book he'd ordered a fortnight ago that would definitely help him with his area of expertise. Excitedly, Draco tore the plain brown paper from the package he'd found sitting at his desk that morning and revealed the simple, mahogany, hard-bound book he had been longing to see forever. Engraved in gold on its cover was the title: _Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed_.

Draco smirked, feeling immensely satisfied with himself. He flicked it open and began reading, his eyes widening at the contents page. There were definitely some rather interesting options, and he couldn't wait to start –

"Mr. Malfoy!"

A voice called from outside Draco's small office. He glanced up just as his secretary, Miss Heidi Macavoy, a former Hufflepuff, opened his door a crack and peered in. He sighed, annoyed at being interrupted, and nodded for her to enter. She stepped into the room, her expression similar to one a child would have after eating a lemon. "The manager of the Appleby Arrows is on his way up," she informed him. "He says he would like you to reconsider your decision to continue the ban his team."

Draco groaned. "Tell him I'll reconsider when his fans reconsider shooting arrows at innocent spectators and referees during games," he snapped. "I'm busy and do not wish to be disturbed."

Macavoy rolled her eyes. "Yes, sir," she replied, quite used to Draco's many definitions of the word "busy" by now. "But you do realise that he's going to burst into your office no matter what I say?"

"He can't do that if I'm not in," Draco said decidedly, striding out of the room quickly. "If anyone asks, I've gone to do some Very Important Work!" he added, calling over his shoulder. Being head of this department wasn't easy. He was only allowed to take thirteen teams per year to play in the League, he was used to having angry Wizards come after his head. Whenever the situation became too life-threatening, Draco preferred to step out. Especially, when it came to dealing with annoying managers who really had no right to complain about their ineligibility in the Quidditch League.

Draco had just decided that he'd grab a cup of coffee as an excuse when someone called out to him. "Slacking off again, Malfoy?"

Draco started, spinning around, and was extremely surprised to see Potter striding out of the Ludicrous Patents Office. "What's it to you?" he demanded, glancing around fervently. He didn't want to get caught by that Appleby Arrows manager – although it would be just typical for Potter to ruin everything for him as usual. "And what are you doing here?"

"Some case involving illegal patenting," the infuriatingly calm man replied. "No big deal; I was just heading back down. Have fun avoiding Howlers – I saw a rather nasty-looking one with your name on it flying up the stairs."

Draco glared after him, about to retaliate, when he spotted the familiar top hat of a manager he really didn't want to see right now exiting the lift. He hurriedly dashed around a corner and disappeared from sight. He was instantly annoyed by the fact that he hadn't been able to shoot a clever, sass-filled comeback at Potter. He couldn't possibly let Potter win this! He had never allowed such an occurring before, and he certainly wasn't about to start now!

Draco scowled, feeling quite angry with himself for allowing Potter to get away with speaking to him like that. He frowned, forcing his brilliant brain to think of a plan to get back at him. When he did, a devilish smirk formed across his lips. It was time to put that book he had ordered to good use.

* * *

_Feel free to leave me a review of what you think!_

_See you guys next week (hopefully)!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Page 17:** _The Horn Tongue Hex is a spell used to turn the target's tongue into a horn._

The next morning, Draco made a quick stop by Level Two of the Ministry, and as he entered the lift, his finger alighted on the correct button on reflex, and it was really no surprise that the manoeuvre came automatically – his trips down to that floor were extremely frequent and a brilliant means to release pent-up tension on the Ministry's Poster Boy.

The lift doors slid open, and he marched towards the Auror Office. Several workers at their desks glanced up as he strode in, but none of them said anything about his arrival. Draco's visits to the department warranted no more than a few rolls of eyes and shakes of heads, and no one bothered to question his presence. Besides, majority of them had learned from experience that it was better to avoid eye contact.

A memo fluttered down and Draco reached up to catch it. He unfolded it and read, "_Meeting with Puddlemere United in ten minutes._" He pocketed the note and figured that he'd simply have to find Potter quickly. He sped up the pace, and grinned broadly when he saw a familiar figure pacing briskly ahead of him, reading a folder with a creased brow. His timing couldn't have been more perfect.

"Hey, Potter!" Draco called, and he heard a collective groan from the occupants of the surrounding desks, who had grown accustomed to being forced to witness several spats between the two men and suffering the consequences. Potter turned sharply at the sound of his name, and Draco grinned triumphantly when he saw a very irritated look grace Potter's easy-to-read expression. "If you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd use it to quench my non-existent thirst."

A flash of something that was neither anger nor amusement crossed those green, bespectacled eyes. This was the best part of getting a rise out of Potter – watching and gauging his reactions. "You know, Malfoy," he said casually, "I really admire your neck."

Draco cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? Why is that?"

"It has to hold up such a big head," replied Potter.

Draco smirked. "You think you're so clever, don't you, Potter? How endearing. How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

Potter made a sound in his throat that was half growl, half exasperated-sigh. The sound sent a form of a thrill through Draco's skin. "Do you annoy people as a hobby, or is that just your personality?"

"Not people, Potter," he sneered. "Just you."

"Glad to see I'm special to you," Potter replied without missing a beat.

Adrenaline rushed through Draco's veins, as it always did when he confronted Potter. It was something he'd probably never get over. Taunting Potter gave him a rush similar to that which one might experience when using drugs.

"Don't flatter yourself," Draco drawled. "Sarcasm won't get you anywhere."

"If it'll get me away from you, that's good enough for me," Potter retaliated, turning away to bury himself in the file he had been reading. Draco felt a twitch of irritation at being dismissed so discourteously. Discreetly drawing his wand, he flicked it and muttered an incantation under his breath.

The result was instantaneous – Potter dropped what he was holding and coughed violently, doubling over and falling unceremoniously to the floor. His lack of grace highly amused Draco, even as several people who had been watching in silence hurried over to help him. Weasley was the first at Potter's side, and he hoisted him to his feet, casting a glare at Draco which went ignored.

"Harry? Harry, mate, you alright? What's the git done to you?" Weasley questioned, shaking him lightly by the shoulders.

Potter opened his mouth, probably to respond, and a long, thin horn jutted out of his mouth, bright yellow and rather spiked.

Draco roared with laughter at around the same time as everyone screamed. Potter was staring at him in shock, because although they'd thrown a few Trip Jinxes around and had even gone as far as to Disarm each other in the halls before, Draco had never done anything physically harming to him. He made no move to hex Draco back, although Draco was sure he could do it nonverbally and with little to no effort, instead only fixing him with a stunned gaze that was slowly turning more and more angry as each second passed, appearing oblivious to the spectators' attempts to help him. Then his eyes flashed dangerously in that way Draco simply loved to see, and he moved to grab his wand.

That was Draco's cue to leave. Before Potter could think of a spell, he had rushed nimbly out of the hallway and re-entered the lift, jamming his thumb on the "close" button before anyone could catch up to him.

Satisfied, Draco leaned back against the walls of the thankfully empty lift and glanced at his watch. He was just in time for his meeting.

* * *

_My apologies for the very short chapter. I will try to post the next one soon to make up for it!_

_Have a good week!_


End file.
